"I didn't wanna die, but I didn't wanna live": When Nate Thompson opened up about his crippling battle with drug and alcohol abuse

In a brave and candid interview with Sportsnet's Christine Simpson on Hockey Night in Canada, Nate Thompson and his ex-wife, Sydney, shed light on his long and challenging battle with alcohol and drug addiction.

The interview, which aired on Jan. 12, 2020, revealed the harrowing journey Thompson endured before finding the strength to confront his demons and embark on the path to recovery.

Thompson said:

"I think it really started to really get going. I think one, you know, I got about 16-17 in high school. And I don't know what it was, but I just could not come from my own skin. With my personality, the only way to be comfortable was to drink and do drugs."

While Nate Thompson never played an NHL game under the influence of substances, he admitted to using drugs and alcohol during practices. However, he did open up about playing games while hungover, painting a picture of the struggles he faced while trying to navigate his professional career amidst addiction:

"There were some nights or some days that I wouldn't even go to the bathroom and look in the mirror because I didn't want to look at myself. I didn't wanna die, but I didn't wanna live."

Nate Thompson's journey to overcoming addiction and rebuilding relationships

Throughout his struggles, Nate Thompson's ex-wife, Sydney, was a constant presence in his life. She recognized the depth of his problem during their dating days, but despite her efforts, Thompson's addiction proved challenging to combat.

Their relationship faced numerous hurdles, leading to a temporary breakup after a particularly troubling incident at a wedding, where Thompson's drug and alcohol use spiraled out of control.

Thompson's battle also impacted his relationship with his son, Teague, from a previous relationship. Consumed by fear that his addiction would negatively influence his son, Thompson distanced himself for about a year. He was afraid to be a father figure, knowing the turmoil within himself.

Thompson told Simpson:

"I think deep down inside me, I was afraid to be his father because I knew where I was at in my life, and I didn't want him to see that"

But, like many stories of redemption, Nate Thompson found hope in his mother's stern yet caring words. Thompson recounted:

"She was like, 'Do you want to get help or do you want to keep doing what you're doing?' and she's like, 'Maybe I have to bury my son one day.' It hit me very hard. The only thing I thought in my head was, 'All right, let's go to a meeting.'"

The next day, Nate Thompson attended an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, and his road to recovery started. It wasn't an easy journey, but his determination to change and the support of his loved ones helped him persevere.